When I created this blog, I was moving from a music website where I maintained a blog. On that site, I admittedly posted a lot more about my personal life than my music tastes, so I came here to have a more personal and expansive experience. I never quite fell in with the culture of tumblr. I’m not much of a picture poster or reblogger. I don’t really think hard enough about music to share with everyone. I’ve always liked blogs for writing my thoughts. In that way, I’ve treated them more like an open diary.
The title of this blog came from a song I wrote when I was in high school. I wrote it when I was 14, but it is to this day one of my proudest works. Not surprisingly, it is likely the onlypiece of writing I still like from that time of my life. In that song I talked about the gap between happiness and creativity. I always found that writing came easier when my life was tumultuous. I’m sure many others do as well. So in the song, I wrote about a creative masterpiece marred by the fact that I was alone. Then, when I found happiness, I had no more creativity.
Despite the dated nature of that song, it still held true years later when I created this blog. I titled it because I felt it appropriate. I was lost and feeling completely broken, this blog was the remnants of all the uncertainty in my life. And looking back through posts, I can see the lonely guy I was. Always grasping. Always trying to find some love or appreciation. The best thing this blog did for me was help me cope. It gave me an avenue to put out some song ideas. Writing the album that became “Bookmarks” was a cathartic experience.
Now I find this place an old avenue I don’t visit quite as often. This is what happens when the angst of youth starts to fall away a bit. Life is still hard sometimes of course, but when you are married and have a kid you start turning to the family you have instead of the family of people you’ve created in a community like this. It is the way things are.
So now I turn to tumblr for something new. I’ve created a blog for my daughter that is private and a way to capture and share the memories we have of her in her young life. As for this blog? I’m going to retitle it and try to make it something different. I’m not quite sure my interests fall in line with the tumblr crowd I used to associate with. But if I ever find the time, I may post thoughts on music, sports, current events, or whatever else strikes me as something to write about. The social media landscape is so large that there is no way I can possibly hope to maintain a normal life while trying to keep up with it all, but I’ll check in when I can.
As for the remnants of uncertainty, there are no more. I am certainly happy now. The remnants have been picked up.